Infidelity, also called adultery and unfaithfulness, happens in marriages and committed relationships. Whatever you call it, it harms any trust that is built between spouses and committed lovers, and when it happens to you, it just plain hurts. So you've learned your significant other has been unfaithful. You've made sure of your facts by confronting your spouse or lover and discussing what happened. You've made the decision to forgive the other person and keep the relationship going. But you're not a rock. You were hurt and you keep thinking of what happened. How do you forget? Here are some tips to help you in forgetting infidelity.
Instructions
1. Get closure. Make sure in your own mind that the infidelity is over and finished with. If you have lingering worries that the infidelity has resumed, or perhaps even never stopped, this will make forgetting infidelity impossible. Talk with your significant other about your concerns. Cluing your significant other in that you are still dealing with the issue and talking about it openly and honestly helps you regain your trust. When you are sure the infidelity has ceased, you can begin the process of forgetting.
2. Avoid imagining that every moment you're apart, your significant other is taking the opportunity to be unfaithful again. Your imagination will almost always conjure up worst-case scenarios that are not true. Just because your significant other is not in your presence, it doesn't mean you can't trust her. There's a good chance she'll feel too guilty and ashamed to be unfaithful again.
3. Reaffirm your commitment to each other. Consider re-taking your vows. Do bonding activities to repair your relationship. Make love; go places together; eat meals together. Applying new glue to the relationship is a huge part of reestablishing trust and enables you to forget ever losing that trust.
4. Get in the habit of being there for each other. When you sense your significant other is troubled, offer your support. The more you are there for each other, the less likely either one of you is to stray.
5. Avoid obsessing. Obsessing about infidelity can happen even when you think you are over it. When you start to obsess over the infidelity, mentally push the thought away. Distract yourself. Obsessing will not help you arrive at the truth or make you feel better. Only talking with your spouse will help with that.
6. Consult with your significant other about making a radical change. Suggest moving somewhere else, where memories of the infidelity are not so fresh and immediate. Suggest any strategy that will help you forget the infidelity and rebuild the relationship.
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